Today, 21st November 2007.
I am writing to myself because company has blocked the blogger's website. I should not be accessing this website during office hours, but I just couldn't resist to write only later, and feelings is about now, and I have been delaying writing due to this.
I am very demoralise at work. Rated 1 - 10 (10 being most happy at work, 1 being the lowest), I will rate myself at 1.
I am lucky to have colleague like
Lydia (especially) who has been there with me all the time regardless of personal or work. She will be with my force when I fall down deep. Without her, I would have left the company much much earlier, and paid back my scholarship bond.
In another 7 working days, I will be officially serving here for my 7th year. Its time to move on. I am so tired - dealing with the people. I am so tired with the unnecessary stress and headache. It doesnt guarantee I will not face this in another company, but at least I know that I do not want to belong here anymore. Dealing with new stress can be exciting, but not this one - again and again.
Next thursday is Ling's birthday - my 3rd sister. She will be 28 this year. This is her 1st birthday without mummy around. I gotta face it on my next birthday next year too. May she rest in peace and happy. May she be the princess with no more suffering, with a blessing and care from Buddha (or watever the God is after death - I dont know).
Many many times especially in this November, I keep telling her to bring me along. There are times when I do not get along well with mummy, but at least we forgive each other all the time. She's the person I wanna be with always - regardless of situation.
I feel very lonely without her.and why do I have a spirit?
I should have been a stone, or a rock, or a beautiful water running at a waterfall in a deep forest with birds chirping and cool wheather. When there is thunder, I will not be worry. When there is rain, I will flow with the rain. When there is sunshine, I will be flowing according to the sun.
Its time to let go...what I have in this life.
