My Heritage Look-Alike

I uploaded two of my pictures today to do the comparison...the celebrity in me. Everytime I try, I will get either Japanese or Thai.... so i look Thai? Of course, coz I have Thai Blood...altho its like so many genarations ago...

And here's the result for today....The same one keep appearing...Aya Matsuura, Kyoko Fukada, Kristin Kreuk...?

Aya Matsuura

Kyoko Fukada...sweet

Some Thai...

Aya Matsuura - ok, I dunno who she is, but Japanese..

Kristin Kreuk

Aishwariya Rai ... :O

Woranuch? Who is that?

Fukada Kyoko

Kyoko Fukada.....so sweet ..wah, twice

Song Hye-Ko

I want to be with Papa like that

During lunch today with LFA & AMN, an old uncle sat with, I believe, her daughter facing me at Chillis KLCC. I kept looking at them, although not directly, as he, touches my heart deeply.

This uncle ate guava juice, and he has an open conversation with her daughter. Her daughter seems to be very open as well, well-mannered, and I like the kind of relationship they have.

When they left, her daughter passed him an umbrella, which I know exactly why. He can still walk, however, the little support will be good. I want to be with Papa like in the next 30 years. He and I exchanged smiled when he stood up. Such a cool uncle!

- Tempted to snap their photos but i think it will be rude-

During My Funeral

When I die, I want everything in white, yellow or blue. Black is scary! hahaha!! I mean if all black.... If u think i am crazy writing this, let it be. I just want to write down what I wanna say to myself.

Although i love black, especially suits and jackets, i saw a wedding couple in andy lim's website wearing all black. Look scary man...

Remembering Mummy's kindness

She has done so much - what else should I say?

Yesterday, suddenly I recall something mummy done for me and us - Which I am not sure whether I will be able to do that for my children in future. If i wanted something so much and I dont buy because its too expensive, she will buy it for me. Clothes, even the keyboard last time. Mummy will, even when she doesnt have enough money. I noticed the way she spent - has been followed by me. :) There are things she wont buy for herself, for the sake for keeping money for her children.

~ Um Mani Padme Hum ~ Um Mani Padme Hum ~Um Mani Padme Hum.~

Some-thing I hate forever

I hate something eating and munching very loudly!!! As if I dont know that the cookies is crunchy, as if no one knows that the food is so tasty!!

Now I am surrounded by 2 person, who "chap chap chap" the nasi lemak so loudly every morning, then again in the noon with the biscuits. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

49th Day

Yesterday was mummy's passing for the 49th day. There was a special prayer performed, and a special moment for her again.

I can't hold my tears again when I spoke to her. Although I cant hear her reply, I know she heard me, and heard all of us.

MUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the feelings I had during her funeral day came back ... I felt the same thing again. It hurts.

Mummy, today, you are in a better place than yesterday, may you be free from all suffering.
~Namo Amitabha~

I AM SO TIRED MENTALLY

I am so tired mentally everyday, when I walked into this office buidling. So so so tired!!!

So far, in the last few weeks, I am 2nd person in the office after her. Without fail, she will complain about her being underpaid and how tonnes of work are waiting for her. I am so tired of listening to her grumbling and throwing tantrums. I am so tired!

I decided to listen to Om Mane Padme Hum mantra but she keep disturbing.

Why is there so many worries in life? I am really tired of helping people or listening to their problems. Luckily I never opt for becoming counsellor, for last time during school days, I was so excited to be "Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya" in Convent. *phew*

I just want to be alone. Nothing can satisfy oneself...and what can make me happy now is being with family with a peaceful mind, worry free or me going shopping for new clothes. :)

Ah...I better stop here....my mind is so messy now hearing the "pom pom pom" sound of the tantrums early in the morning everyday.

Call logs that I want to keep

I just want to keep this screen....These are some of my call logs that I talked to mummy. I will never had a chance to call her again, unless she decided to call me. :) Maybe I should venture a business in this line, so that anyone can communicate with their loved ones. I will charge RM1million/min? hehehe....buy 100mins, free 10 mins?

I am so happy today and yesterday, that I found a website, to buy online shopping for dresses in Malaysia at cheaper price. I really thought maybe I should also venture into this business, since I dont need to have a shop, I can go shopping, posing for photos and just surf the internet...work from home. Yea, i would love this!! Then i can call myself businesswoman. (which i never thot of being one).

I am also happy mummy appear in my dream this morning.... :) She is still as lovely as she is, and she care for us and papa. She's so sweet. The sweestest mummy.

Now, everyday, I only thought of what else that I want to do before I die and I am not afraid to die....HC said she read about this in my blog. Yea, I never thought of this before mummy's passing, now I am really thinking about it. After all, life is so short and fragile....

Mummy in lian hua....

I am now imagining mummy sitting on the flower lilies...lian hua...she is having a peaceful live now.

I LOVE YOU MUMMY!!

I saw mummy

Today, is mummy's passing exactly on the 5th week. Time flies, but i feel it just happened yesterday. While Rev Ratana performed prayers for her this morning, I keep seeing her when I closed my eyes during the prayers. :-* *hugs*

I saw mummy too at home last weekend - whether they believe it or not - I know she's there. :D

Yesterday, Soo was driving and her car was hit by a fresh graduate who curi using her dad's CRV. This woman did illegal u-turn and instead of pressing the brake, she pressed the accelerator and bang into Soo's car, who then hit another car. Nasib ah dia silap, trying to escape lagi. Estimated repair cost is RM 8K to RM10K coz alignment is gone. Quite bad though as the car cant be opened anymore now. Didnt have the picture with me now.

I Am A Special Woman

I feel so special today, because I am.

I will always be the great daughter, the great wife, the great woman and friends.

I love myself.

Numb

I just heard the news my colleague's dad is hospitalised due to accident. I am not sure how severe he is...but one thing for sure, I thought he is lucky that he is alive and still breathing...

On the other hand, i feel pity, coz he need to suffer....

Should I be happy for mummy that she didnt suffer? I am confident my answer is YES.

I am eating more this week.... since the lost of appetite for weeks since mummy's passing. In fact, I am craving for food. :P