When my heart cant bear with it anymore

This CNY is the worst CNY. I cried everyday since day 1, and yesterday was the worst.

I am trying to accept the fact mummy is no longer there to celebrate CNY with us... not another big headache come to me.

My MIL is not happy i didnt spent reunion dinner with the family, my sour face in Langkawi trip and i didnt go back kl together with darling on Sunday. How!!! Did I change the plan?? Yes, and u know why?

I am very very tired. I just want to die....and i live on for papa. When is my day??? When when when???

Papa dropped tears during reunion dinner this year - and I know exactly why - which is the main reason i wanna be with him this year.

Please let me be free like a bird.... my wings are stuck in the cage right now. help!!