So hurt

What can be worst, besides loosing a mother?

I had even more than that. Besides hoping my dear husband to be by my side that very moment, he chose not to call me, and what worst is, he put up a posting in forum - seeking for opinion - and what hurt me the most is, saying we need nothing to help mummy!! How on earth one will do nothing? I don't have to tell anyone what I have done. I don't have to!!

Darling said that's what he felt that moment. Its ok. But ....please .... please do not put that up in public!!! Only God knows how I feel at that moment, I am already so weak and my heart torn into pieces loosing mummy, darling please!!

Anyway, I don't have the energy to argue about this, so I decided to forgive him. This is not my priority now. He has done his best, by coming all the way back from Istanbul, to be with me and family and mummy. I am thankful for that. Trust me, when you are in that situation, only family matters.

For every nite, since mummy's passing, I have been crying terribly before I sleep. Not that I want it, it just came - except on Tuesday, when I was so angry about the posting.

Sometimes, I know, I ignore the one I loved around me. But deep inside, I am not.

Last 2 weeks, I found a picture taken during CNY 2005, where mummy hold my hand when she gave me angpow. The surprise is, I don't know why there's tears in her eyes in that picture, and I never realised it, until last week. I will scan this picture and keep it.

Dearest mummy, may you rest in peace. Amitabha.

Note:
Jieca called me from Germany yesterday, hearing the news. Only in difficult moments, you will know who your true friends are.